Seeking Advice - Not a downer thread!

Thorium

New member
Hi guys,
I am a 24 year old male from California who has always been into whaletails. It was sort of an obsession to me as an adolescent and I've always been a fan of this site. I just wanted to get some perspective from other people that have this fetish. Note that this post may be a downer to some of you but I just wanted to get some perspective on things.

As a teenager I never really questioned the fact that I loved thongs so much. However beginning in my early 20s I started to deal with an anxiety disorder that I am still dealing with to this day. I think it all has to do with realizing that I may like something that may not perhaps be "normal". I was kind of socially awkward as a teenager and it may be due to this fetish I have. I have sometimes pondered why a piece of fabric can turn me on so much, not that there is anything wrong with that though. I have never really had a relationship and part of it is due to not knowing how to bring this up with a potential girlfriend . Like how should I tell her that I love thongs this much and will she think I am somehow objectifying her or like thongs more than her actual body? Sometimes I feel abnormal for the fetish and wonder if most guys feel this way.

Sorry to be a downer but I have kind of been in the dumps lately about this.

Thanks for reading.
 

Scott

Well-known member
Staff member
Mod
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Hi guys,
I am a 24 year old male from California who has always been into whaletails. It was sort of an obsession to me as an adolescent and I've always been a fan of this site. I just wanted to get some perspective from other people that have this fetish. Note that this post may be a downer to some of you but I just wanted to get some perspective on things.

As a teenager I never really questioned the fact that I loved thongs so much. However beginning in my early 20s I started to deal with an anxiety disorder that I am still dealing with to this day. I think it all has to do with realizing that I may like something that may not perhaps be "normal". I was kind of socially awkward as a teenager and it may be due to this fetish I have. I have sometimes pondered why a piece of fabric can turn me on so much, not that there is anything wrong with that though. I have never really had a relationship and part of it is due to not knowing how to bring this up with a potential girlfriend . Like how should I tell her that I love thongs this much and will she think I am somehow objectifying her or like thongs more than her actual body? Sometimes I feel abnormal for the fetish and wonder if most guys feel this way.

Sorry to be a downer but I have kind of been in the dumps lately about this.

Thanks for reading.

Hey!

There is nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to kinks or fetishes - thongs included. Since thongs, whaletails, and all the kinks involved therein are your jam, you must remember that is merely a small facet of a much more complex relationship. While I'm not personally or intimately familiar with your situation, when you say you were made "socially awkward" (which brought about anxiety issues???) due to this kink, that tells me you should seek out the counsel of a psychologist - I talk to one almost every other week, shit is dope. Being hyper focused on this one thing may be blinding you of the reality of what having a companion is all about. My relationship with my wife involves - know what, you need a visual aid...

image%20%282%29.png

You see, thongs play a very very very small part in our relationship. <1% of our relationship has anything to do with thongs even though i fucking love the shit out of them. My best advice to you is women wear thongs; thongs don't wear woman. You feeling me with that statement?

Hope this helps,

Scott
 

ThongKing

Well-known member
Staff member
Site Owner
Mod
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Interesting read. I would say not to worry so much. I would say a thong fetish is pretty tame when compared to some of the other fetishes out there and I would say most people have a least one fetish.

In regards to bringing it up with future girlfriends, I would say that is kind of happens naturally. For example an ex of mine asked me if there was anything that really turns me on. and I said yeah I like sexy underwear a lot and she was cool with it.
 

Thorium

New member
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Thanks for the advice. Regarding the therapist thing Scott I was actually diagnosed with OCD at about the age of 13 so I'm definitely familiar with therapists. I believe worrying about this fetish now is more a facet of that than anything else. Not sure if you know what SSRI's are but have been on them before and my liking for the fetish went way down along with libido in general as a side effect. Kind of sucks but it's whatever haha
 

Scott

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Staff member
Mod
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Thanks for the advice. Regarding the therapist thing Scott I was actually diagnosed with OCD at about the age of 13 so I'm definitely familiar with therapists. I believe worrying about this fetish now is more a facet of that than anything else. Not sure if you know what SSRI's are but have been on them before and my liking for the fetish went way down along with libido in general as a side effect. Kind of sucks but it's whatever haha

I take prozac for depression so I know exactly what you're talking about. Just keep your head up and your priorities straight and you'll be alright.
 
K

kiyoothong

Guest
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Hey, I hope you're doing well. I just want to say that I am in a similar situation as you are. I've been wearing thongs since I was eleven, but I haven't been able to tell anyone about my thongs. The fact that I lived with my strict parents in the Middle East during my teenage years made it very difficult for me to be open about my thonging. At times, I had to throw away my thongs because I just couldn't bear the burden of keeping my thongs as a secret. I am in Canada right now, so I don't have this burden anymore but I still cannot be open about my thonging because I'm scared to let others know. I go through low self esteem, anxiety and other mental problems, and being overweight brings down my confidence

I went to see a therapist last year because I thought my fetish for thongs was a mental disorder. My therapist told me to embrace my fetish as many people live with other fetishes. Also, when it comes to relationships, she told me that I should be open about my fetish. She told me that I should move on if the woman I'm seeing seems to show disgust towards me and my fetish. In fact, having this fetish could be a blessing because it can help me decide the right girl, which is someone who is respectful towards me.

I hope this helps. :)
 

Scott

Well-known member
Staff member
Mod
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Hey, I hope you're doing well. I just want to say that I am in a similar situation as you are. I've been wearing thongs since I was eleven, but I haven't been able to tell anyone about my thongs. The fact that I lived with my strict parents in the Middle East during my teenage years made it very difficult for me to be open about my thonging. At times, I had to throw away my thongs because I just couldn't bear the burden of keeping my thongs as a secret. I am in Canada right now, so I don't have this burden anymore but I still cannot be open about my thonging because I'm scared to let others know. I go through low self esteem, anxiety and other mental problems, and being overweight brings down my confidence
First off, wow - what a story. I hope this forum gives you back some of the confidence you seek.

I went to see a therapist last year because I thought my fetish for thongs was a mental disorder. My therapist told me to embrace my fetish as many people live with other fetishes. Also, when it comes to relationships, she told me that I should be open about my fetish. She told me that I should move on if the woman I'm seeing seems to show disgust towards me and my fetish. In fact, having this fetish could be a blessing because it can help me decide the right girl, which is someone who is respectful towards me.

I hope this helps. :)

Secondly, I agree with all that! Embrace your fetish as it is apart of who you are. From the outside looking in, it might come down to how you reveal your secret that may help things. This would be like a 3rd date type conversation maybe?
 
K

kiyoothong

Guest
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Thank you for your kind words, scott.in.dawn. Haha I wouldn't just jump right in and tell my date about my thong fetish. Something that intimate needs time, and I know that we both have to be comfortable with each other.

On a different note, I want to ask if my English is fine. I have been quite obsessed with my writing lately, and I think I might have OCD. It's so stressful when I write something here because I want my grammar and my writing to be perfect. English has never been my forte and it is not my first language, so I always check to see if my statements are correct. I graduated from a university in Canada and I have written papers before, but I still have doubts about my English proficiency. My friends wouldn't believe me if they saw this post because I speak like a native English speaker. I guess I have this issue because people used to make fun of my English. I went to a British Secondary School in the Middle East, and my peers made fun of my accent even though my English was decent. Also, I was good at subjects like Maths and Science, but I struggled with English. I couldn't be as articulate and eloquent as my peers, and teachers always complained that my essays were not creative enough. So in order to get a good grade in English, I had to make sure that my grammar was perfect. I guess that's where my obsession came from.
I'm sending out a lot of cover letters these days, but I haven't heard back from the companies I applied for. This has affected my confidence a lot, and I guess that's why I'm having doubts about my English.

Anyway, I guess I should see a psychologist or something. Thank you for reading
 

Scott

Well-known member
Staff member
Mod
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Thank you for your kind words, scott.in.dawn. Haha I wouldn't just jump right in and tell my date about my thong fetish. Something that intimate needs time, and I know that we both have to be comfortable with each other.

On a different note, I want to ask if my English is fine. I have been quite obsessed with my writing lately, and I think I might have OCD. It's so stressful when I write something here because I want my grammar and my writing to be perfect. English has never been my forte and it is not my first language, so I always check to see if my statements are correct. I graduated from a university in Canada and I have written papers before, but I still have doubts about my English proficiency. My friends wouldn't believe me if they saw this post because I speak like a native English speaker. I guess I have this issue because people used to make fun of my English. I went to a British Secondary School in the Middle East, and my peers made fun of my accent even though my English was decent. Also, I was good at subjects like Maths and Science, but I struggled with English. I couldn't be as articulate and eloquent as my peers, and teachers always complained that my essays were not creative enough. So in order to get a good grade in English, I had to make sure that my grammar was perfect. I guess that's where my obsession came from.
I'm sending out a lot of cover letters these days, but I haven't heard back from the companies I applied for. This has affected my confidence a lot, and I guess that's why I'm having doubts about my English.

Anyway, I guess I should see a psychologist or something. Thank you for reading

Duuuuuuuuuude, your grammar is on point. Honestly.... I'm shocked to hear you aren't a native english speaker. You're very well spoken. What jobs are you applying for?
 

Thorium

New member
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

Kiyoo it depends on how much time it takes worry about that stuff. If it's a lot you should definitely get treatment for it because it can get so much worse.

I'm also interested in where you are applying. You say you studied math and science did you get a degree related to that?

I'm a Chemical Engineer and work for a pharmaceutical company mixing stuff together to make new chemicals . Almost like breaking bad if you've seen that but legal haha
 
K

kiyoothong

Guest
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

I was an intern at a bank last summer but the bank I was working for had to terminate my contract because of the poor economy. Since then, I have been looking for jobs in the service sector, but I need to be bilingual (French and English) for those jobs. Right now I'm just doing a lot of pro bono research work and volunteering.

As for my OCD, I don't think about it too often, but I get scared and get stressed when I have to write my cover letter. I guess it has to do with my anxiety of being judged and my low self-esteem.

Oh yeah, and I graduated with an economics degree.
 

Scott

Well-known member
Staff member
Mod
Re: Seeking Advice * may be a downer thread

So I had a random conversation with my sister-in-law who's like 20ish. We're pretty close, besides my wife, she's my bestie. The day before this her and I randomly went to her first ever trip to Victoria's Secret. Now she's my sister-in-law so I'm like not "Scott", I'm her bestie bro. Anywho, this is the next day and we gotta get somewhere and i gotta go pick her up and she's running late and i'm like wtf and blah blah blah. Sorry for the ramble. She informs me she's finally out of the shower....

1.png

So I was just teasing and said I was wearing whatever i said above. I also teased her cause even at VS this chick wanted to buy the most boring shit i'd ever seen. the 'Scott' in me starts thinking of a BF she might have in the near future (she is currently single) and how he might want something that's outside of the grayscale color range. So i'm like, let's take some risks here. She bought her first ever g-string that day. I digress....

Any who, so later on, we had this talk.
2.png

Yellow is my wife's name

This fits so perfectly into this discussion, guys. My sister-in-law is without a doubt a catch (think Dawn but 110lbs, 5"7' and blonde) and she says "if he is comfortable with himself who am I to judge?". So what i'm trying to say here is that you never know how a girl will react to how you do you but the bottom line is do you and you never know.
 
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